In Loving Memory of My Mother - Loretta Blanche Fletcher Hawthorne
(NaNa, Mom, LaLa)
Sunrise - September 27, 1931 * Sunset - November 21, 2012
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Tribute To My Mom
Loretta Blanche Fletcher Hawthorne “NaNa”
My Brother and Sister and I called here Ma or Mom. Her husband, parents, siblings and friends called her Loretta or La La, But everyone knew her as Nana, a woman that showed unconditional love to all that were blessed to be a part of her life. She had a unique relationship with each of us, but showed the same compassion and care to all of us.
The oldest of 5 children born to Lefty and Maxie Fletcher. I am sure, that at least until the youngest Debbie was born, she was Daddy and Mommies little girl. With three boys in the middle, she was also big sister and enforcer in chief. I saw one picture where my Mom was holding Lamont, my uncle bubby was standing quietly and my uncle Donald was crying. I wondered if my mom had anything to do with those tears. My grandmother later explained that my Mom treated her brothers more as if she was their mother than their sister. One thing for sure is they were raised right and held a close bond with their parents. Even now they all make sure that their mother is well taken care of everyday, 24 hours a day. Even after the health issues started, my mom was more concerned with taking her turn being with grandmom than attending to herself.
As I looked through my mom’s pictures from young to seasoned, I saw a beautiful, and I mean really beautiful woman, who’s stunningly good looks was matched by the beauty of her heart. It is well known that the guys from Trenton would make the trip to Princeton to court the gorgeous girls that lived there, and that my Mom was mentioned most as the one they wanted to get a look at. I remember finding a very old sharp and rusty sword in my grandfather’s cellar. I wonder if he used that to send a message to the guys that would show some interest in her. Knowing “Lefty”, he probably had a shotgun nearby as well.
A little known fact about her is that she played a role in the civil right movement. In 1951, the Princeton NAACP made a successful attempt at color equality by forcing Princeton businesses to hire Black people. My mother became the first African American to be hired by Woolworths, and broke the color barrier. I could only imagine the type of scrutiny she went through, but I know that she was smart enough, and determined enough to handle whatever obstacles were placed in her way. Plus my mom was faired skinned enough that most of her co-workers probably thought they were working next to a white woman.
My mom was married 3 times. First to Freddie Hoagland, my brother and sisters dad. I think he may have been a little too outgoing for her. My Mom The second marriage was to my father Oscar Teel. I think he may have not been outgoing enough for her. Actually, my Dad was in the Air Force and traveled quite a bit. We lived in Michigan, then Indiana. When my Dad was transferred to Amarillo Texas, my mom decided that she was done with moving and returned to Trenton.
Her third marriage was to Ralph “Chico” Hawthorne Jr., her husband of 42 years. He must have struck the right balance for her. She was everything he needed, a beautiful wife, a wonderful companion, an excellent cook and a worrying mother. Their years of love for each other, not only sustained their marriage, it also created the foundation of a home for our family. The place where we celebrate the holidays and cookouts.
My mom had 3 children. Daron, Denise and Me. She gave us unconditional love, even when we did not deserve it. She raised us to have at least enough sense not get on her wrong side. I don’t remember my mom attending church regularly but she made sure we did by enrolling us in Catholic school. Living with my mom was fairly normal although having a monkey as a pet probably was not. We always had a dog or cat. She had a dog that would not allow us to sit in the front seat of the car because he wanted to be next to her. I don’t think we had that dog for too long. My mom was a mother when she had to be, and a father when she had to be. She was wise and fair. You can best believe that if we did not take her advice, at some point in our lives, we would wish that we had. I see traits of her in all of us, so I guess that although she has gone on to glory, she will still be here managing our thoughts and actions.
Once the grandchildren started coming, the name “Nana” surfaced. I know a lot of families that have Nanas, but there is no Nana like our Nana. I am not sure which one of her grandchildren started calling her that, but soon afterwards it became her name to all of her grandchildren and most of the adults that she shared her life with. It sounded a little strange hearing a grown up call her Nana but the name was not so much used to denote that she was a grandmother, it was used to refer to the love that was directed her way.
Each of her grandchildren had their own unique relationship with Nana that was based on their own personality. Their Nana was able to communicate with each of them at their level no matter the age, sex or subject. Even her grand children’s children would gravitate to Nana immediately upon encountering her. Not only did she show them love through care, she showered them with gifts for the cold days of Christmas, and a huge swimming pool for the hot days of summer.
If Nana had a pick as her favorite, I would have to say it was Ashley. Nana attended Ashley’s basketball games regularly and supported her in every way that she could. Ashley was even given the nickname “Little LaLa”. She stuck by Ashley, and when she became ill, Ashley stood by her. Ashley would say that from the day that she was born her Nana told her that she had stars in her eyes. And now that Nana is gone she will make sure that the stars that Nana saw will shine even brighter.
There are many people here that could speak about Nana but there are not enough hours in the day to express her impact on our lives. I am certain that all would agree that she was a loving, caring person that was more concerned about you than she was about herself.
Her Sister Debbie would say that she was Strong, Bold, Confident and Demanding, and that she was always there with a sweet word or two. She would say that La La was not only a sister, but her best friend and like a mother. She would say that she loves her and will miss her.
Her Son In Law Grady, who was the only person to call her mother, would say that being her son was a blessing in his life, and that he loves and will miss her. I can honestly say that other than birthing Daron and me, to my Mom, Grady was as much of a son to “Mother” as any son could be.
Her Daughter Denise would say that with Mom by her side everything was OK no matter if it were good times or bad, and that Mom was the rock in her life that she could count on. She would say that Mom understood the parts of her that others did not even know existed, and that although her heart is ready to explode she knows that Mom would want her darling daughter to stay strong for herself and her family. Denise would say that Mom and Michelle doubled the value of her life. The love that they provided will help her conquer the pain, and that their memory will always be in her life, mind and heart.
My Mom always made sure that we all had enough to eat. She also made sure that we kept warm. The gifts that she gave me tended to be warm coats and blankets. Most of the clothes that she gave me were a little big though. At first I thought she was giving me a hint to gain some weight, but I later found out that she did that to everyone. When I graduated from High School my Mom gave me a diamond ring. I have been wearing this ring since 1971. One of diamonds fell out a couple of years ago. I am going to have the diamond replaced and it will still be on my finger when it is my time to meet her on the other side.
To a fault, My Mom did not want anyone to worry about her. She would be adamant that she was OK even when it was apparent that she was not. I have come to the conclusion that Mom was more ill than she would have ever let us know. I believe that she thought that she was looking out for us and that she wanted us to go about our days as normally as possible. She would insist that when she passed she wanted to be buried the same day and without a funeral. I would tell her that she would have no control over what happened when she passed. She is probably looking down on us angry that we are all here celebrating her life and mourning her death.
Whether you called her Loretta, Mom, Nana or La La she has left you with something. Maybe it is a worthy memory, or knowledge and wisdom. Maybe it is courage and confidence or examples of how to love and be loved. Maybe it was even clothes that lasted long enough until you or your kids could fit them. For me, and most of you it is all of those things and more.
There could never be another NaNa, but my sister Denise has been trained by the best to be NaNa version 2.0. She has spent the last few years actually being a Nana to Nana. A new generation is being born into this family and through Denise they will be able to experience all of the things that the original Nana brought into our lives.
It is going to be tough and painful for some time to come for all of us. The holidays and cookouts and shopping won’t be the same for a while. She would want us to carry on. And when the times get tough, perhaps we should rely on God, the memories of NaNa, and each other to get us through.
Loretta Blanche Fletcher Hawthorne “Nana”, 81 passed on to glory at the Helene Fuld Medical Center on November 21, 2012. She was born in Trenton, New Jersey on September 27, 1931. Raised in Princeton, N.J., she resided in Trenton, for 65 years. Loretta was educated in the Princeton School System. She was a certified circuit board technician employed at Zytrone, and formerly Melcor. In 1951 she helped the NAACP advance the cause of racial equality by becoming the first African American to work for Woolworths in Princeton.
She is predeceased in death by her Father, Lorenzo Fletcher and a beloved niece Michelle Lee (Stacy). She leaves to mourn her loss Husband of 42 years, Ralph Hawthorne Jr., her mother Maxie Fletcher, three children, Daron (Brenda), D’ary Denise (Grady) and Wayne (Mitzi). 1 Stepdaughter Pat. Three brothers Lorenzo (*Madge), Donald, Lamont (Lottie), and sister Deborah (Greg). Grandchildren Keisha (Lamont), Tyease (Steven), Shannon (William), Maurice (Shanita), Brandon, Fantasia, Frederick, Bruce (Nicole), Wayne G. (Khadijah), Ashley, Christopher (Elease) , Wayne D., Ryan, Troy, Bee, Marja, Monique. Thirty five Great-Grandchildren, Eight Great-Great Grandchildren, two god granddaughters Nicola and Iris, and many nieces, nephews, cousins and friends including Michele F., Keeyana F., Zaykorri F. and Joseph (Power).
“Nana” showed unconditional love to her family, and hospitality to her friends. In return, she was blessed with a loving family and caring friends. She was especially blessed by Ashley and Nicola who provided extra special Love, Time and Care during her time of illness.